Unworthy

For a long time I believed the lie that I must be worthy to become a mother.  I believed that God was withholding this gift from me because I wasn’t good enough to raise a child.  I thought he wanted me to learn more on how to become a parent before blessing me with that gift.  OR… maybe God thought I would make a mess of it.  Well, the truth is I probably would make a mess of parenting, and probably will.  What I do know is that it is not me, it is Him.

I am NOT worthy!  You are NOT worthy!  Without Him, I am nothing…Without Him, you are nothing!

I have learned that I do not have to be worthy! And I am extremely thankful for that.  Just like my salvation.  I am neither worthy nor good enough to go to heaven.  Without God I am unable to truly live.  But I am saved by grace!  And grace is a freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.

For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.  Romans 3:23

But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

Wherefore, as by one man sin entered into the world, and death by sin; and so death passed upon all men, for that all have sinned.  Romans 5:12

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Romans 6:23

For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.  Ephesians 2:8-10  

What I have found is that He chooses messy, broken people to do extraordinary, God-glorifying things.  He chose David an adulterer to lead His holy nation. He chose Paul an accomplice to murder to spread the gospel.  God uses people that we would toss to the side.  We would try to find the perfect person among us to complete such large tasks.  But not God!  He chooses sinners instead.

I am not worthy of my God-sized dream to become a mother.  A God-sized dream isn’t something we are qualified for…it is something we are called to in spite of ourselves.  God wants to use us even when we fall short. 

Michael and I are still waiting for our God-sized dream of becoming parents to come true.  But we are thankful that we do not have to be worthy to become Godly parents.  I breathe in forgiveness, mercies that are new every morning, and press on to my God-sized dream of becoming a mother.  I don’t know how today will go.  Some days are a struggle.  Some days are easy.  But I do know where I can always go when I need grace. 

I humble myself before the Lord.  I know that I am a mess.  But I believe that God can still use me anyway.  No matter how many times I make mistakes or how many times I fall down.  I will get back up and serve Him forever.  I never want Him to stop using me!  I am extremely thankful that His mercies are new every morning and that He will keep making me more like Him until the day that I am with Him forever.

Wordless Wednesday

Our Wedding Day!

Music Monday

We sing the chorus of this song at our church sometimes.  It touches my heart and makes my eyes sweat every time I hear it.  I have definitely learned to trust in Jesus through it all! 

 

Through It All

 

I've had many tears and sorrows

I've had questions for tomorrow

There've been times I didn't know right from wrong

But in every situation

God gave blessed consolation

That my trials only come to make me strong

 

I 've been alot of places

And I've seen so many faces

But there've been times I felt so all alone

But in that lonely hour

In that precious, lonely hour

Jesus let me know I was His own

 

Through it all

Through it all

I've learned to trust in Jesus

I've learned to trust in God

Through it all

Through it all

I've learned to depend upon His Word

 

So I thank God for the mountains

And I thank Him for the valleys

I thank Him for the storms He's brought me through

Cause if I never had a problem

I wouldn't know that He could solve them

I wouldn't know what faith in His Word could do

 

Through it all

Through it all

I've learned to trust in Jesus

I've learned to trust in God

Through it all

Through it all

I've learned to depend upon His Word

Yes, I've learned to depend upon His Word

I've learned to depend upon His Word



You can listen to this song below...OR here

 

Don't forget to leave a comment with your favorite songs.

An Update While We Wait...

I would like to apologize for not blogging since July!  Michael has recently started back to school full-time and working full-time hours.  I have been working at least one shift a weekend at my part-time job, plus my full-time job Monday-Friday.  We are also currently taking a class on Monday night.  I remind myself daily that this is just a season and shall soon pass!

Michael's new career choice will allow more time at home and weekends off.  I can't wait!!  This makes me excited just talking about the extra time we will have as a family.  Some of you may know that Michael's current job (Paramedic-Emergency Services) requires him to be away from home for 24 hours at a time, every third day, which is not family friendly.  And working on holidays was required.  He loves working as a Paramedic, but God has opened new doors.  Everything has fell in to place.  We have been and continue to be Blessed!!  God is so good!   

I would like to update everyone about our waiting status.  There have been 12 placements in 2013, which is 3 more than this time last year at Bethany Christian Services.  This is good news to hear.  Even though we do not have a placement yet, it is nice to know that placements are being made at our adoption agency.  We don't hear much unless we ask.  Our adoption specialist checks in with us every 3 months, but other than that we just wait for the call. 

I check the website of waiting families more times than I would like to admit.  Ha!  Not that it will change anything or speed anything up for us, but it is nice to see "Placement" labeled on different profiles.  I have prayed, and continue to pray for each family in Mississippi that is waiting just like us.  You see, we are not in competition with one another.  We are all waiting for God's perfect plan. 

If you would like to view our profile you can click here.  (this is our Dear Birthmother letter)  We also have a profile book that is more detailed about our life.  If a Birthparent(s) makes an adoption plan they use our profile as a tool to determine their sweet baby's forever family.

Please keep us in your prayers.  We are still waiting!

...Praying for Our Happily Ever After

New T-Shirts!

First, I want to thank everyone for all the love and prayers you have given us over the past few months!  We are incredibly grateful to have you all in our lives!  Michael and I are very excited for our bundle of joy to arrive and for everyone to share in our excitement makes it that much sweeter while we wait!  Thank you all so much!  We couldn't have made it this far without your support! 

I would also like to thank everyone who has purchased one or more of our t-shirts.  We are so overwhelmed by all the love and support from family, friends, and many we haven't met!  We were able to pay for our home study with the first batch of shirts that we sold.  Thank you so much for your contribution.  Every little bit helps!  We are currently saving money for our placement cost.  This is the largest amount of money that we must have when we receive "The Call" and Baby Shook is placed in our family.  Michael and I are working very hard to save every penny.

We would like to introduce our new blue lagoon comfort color t-shirt for sell!!  I am in love with this color.  Also if you have never felt a Comfort Color t-shirt then you are missing out!  They are supper soft and comfortable to wear.  The cost is $18 and they are short sleeve. I would love for you to get your shirt today!  Thank you to everyone that has requested one... or MORE!  You are such a priceless part in bringing home Baby Shook...whenever that may be.

If you are interested in purchasing one for yourself or a family member please contact me or simply leave a comment below.  I will be happy to supply!  I also have PayPal located on the sidebar.  If you would like one, and you know that you will need to have it shipped...you can order by clicking the "Buy Now" button on my sidebar. Be sure to choose your size.  I will mail them out as soon as I can!  There is a shipping charge for that also, so be aware of that!

But please remember these shirts serve a BIGGER purpose than just being comfortable and cute.  We ask that after you purchase a shirt, you say a quick prayer for our little one each time you put it on or toss it in the washing machine.  How wonderful and overwhelming to see others wearing these shirts knowing that they have prayed for our little one! 

Please feel free to share this post with others!  And if you would like to read about the start of our journey click here.  

Thank you for all the support and prayers over the last few months!  There is no way we could ever repay you for everything that you have done!  May God Bless each and every one of you in a special way!    

Mail Call...

Mail Call for Baby Shook!!  We love getting gifts in the mail!  Some of you don't know, but Michael has a new love for the guitar.  He pretty much taught himself to play in about 2 months recently.  He can also play the drums and piano!  Yes, he is smart and VERY talented.  That is one of the reasons I love him SO much!!

I am sure Baby Shook will be smart like his/her Daddy!!  No we do not know whether it will be a boy or girl, but I am sure I can doll this little onesie up for a girl if needed. :)  We are open to whatever God wants for our family.  But just look how cute this is...I absolutely love it!!  Check it out!!

SOOO Sweet!!

Smokey Mountain Family Vacation 2013

This past weekend Michael and I woke up bright and early Thursday June 13, 2013 to meet his family in the Smokey Mountains for our annual family vacation.  We are still on a budget, but who says you can't have fun on a budget?  Not me...because we did!!

We had a minor problem a few days prior while my car was in the shop getting a new wheel on the front right and rear left due to an accident a month ago in Tupelo with a large pot hole.  Oops!  Thankfully it was covered under warranty.  Anyway...check out my ride for a day.  Let me just say, this looks like a great mommy ride!  I enjoyed riding in an SUV.  No van for this "mommy to be!"  Just thought I would throw that in for all you people wanting to see this "mama to be" drive a van.  You know who you are...HA!  Nothing wrong with all you van people, but I am just not a van person.

OK, back to the mountains.  After we got my car back (the day before we left) we were off!  The first day wasn't bad.  Just lots of driving until we arrived to this...

This cabin had two floors and a basement with 3 master bedrooms and 3 master bathrooms on each level!

Main floor living room

 



View from the balcony

 

pool table in basement

 

Dinning room table on main floor

 

ping pong table on screened in porch basement level

Welcome to our cabin of relaxation for 4 days.

And then the dreaded grocery store run.  See...

 

That's how we roll!!

After shopping we drove back up the mountain to our cabin to grill out and REST!!

We cooked brunch in the cabin every morning.  We had biscuits, gravy (tomato, chocolate, and regular), bacon, sausage, hash browns, ham, apple turnovers, and more.  Did I mention that we had 5 separate families on this vacation?!

After brunch on Friday we decided to visit the Titanic.  If you have never been I suggest you go at least once.  On this particular day the museum had the famous, Wallace Hartley, violin on display for all to see.  Hartley became famous for leading the eight member band as the ship sank.  His body was found frozen with his violin strapped to him because this was his prize possession.  He was going to meet his finance in order to get married, but his journey was soon ended after the tragic sinking of the ship.  Such a sad story.  Everything was very sad because it isn't just a romantic movie.  It really happened!  These were real people! 

I was Sarah Roth, 3rd class passenger, age 26.  I was on my way to get married to the man of my dreams.  I made my own wedding dress by hand and was so excited to get to wear it.  It was tucked away in my trunk and my bridesmaid was on board with me.  The man of my dreams would be standing by in New York City waiting for my arrival.

Michael was William McRae, a crew member/fireman/stoker, age 43.  He worked down in the boiler room.  The interesting thing is that the Titanic was on fire from the day she sailed from Southampton, England.  The officers knew it, the crew in the boiler knew it, but none of the passengers knew it.  They would have panicked so the captain asked everyone to keep it a secret.  The fire started in Bunker No. 6, where hundreds of tons of coal were stored.  Flames were raging in the bottom of the bunker, but they hadn't broken through to the top.  There were 12 fireman working in shifts, fighting the fire around the clock.  Just when they started making progress the Titanic hit the iceberg and the frigid 28 degree water finished the job.

Alex and Miley

We were able to place our hand in 28 degree water that felt just like the night the ship went down.  You could also shovel coal into the fiery furnace.  The crew members did this job for eight to ten hours in 100 degree temperature just to keep the ship running.  It is amazing all the things that happened in such a short amount of time.  All of the stories are unique and touching.  Everyone should see this at least once.

Me and Michael

Barbara and David

Annette and Danny

That night we played putt putt golf and I won!  Poor Michael, he just wasn't ready for that game.  We also rode go-carts with the kiddos one time around!  You're only young once, but you can be a kid forever!!  We ate at Huck Finn's that night with the family.  I had spicy grilled shrimp...Yum!

I won!!

 

Mr. Huck Finn! (a.k.a. Michael)

Saturday Michael and I walked the streets of Gatlinburg did a little shopping.  The next stop was Lil Dolly's!  If you don't know what that is...well, let me just tell you.  It is the famous quilt store.  All Southern girls love a good quilt!  I purchased a beautiful green baby quilt for Baby Shook.  I can't wait to wrap that tiny little baby in that gorgeous quilt!  That night we ate at The Old Mill.  Wonderful place to eat.  And I love The Old Mill pottery store.  Next stop...the cabin for more relaxation.

baby quilt

Sunday was another travel day and a stop at the Bass Pro Shop and Knife store.  You know men and their toy's.  HA!  But they do have some girly stuff too.  I purchased Baby Shook's first Smokey Mountain black bear at the knife store.  Isn't he cute?!

All in all we had a wonderful family trip...Until next time!