Redirecting My Focus

 

Jesus Calling

By:Sarah Young

 

The world is too much with you, My child. Your mind leaps from problem to problem to problem, tangling your thoughts in anxious knots. When you think like that, you leave Me out of your world-view and your mind becomes darkened. Though I yearn to help, I will not violate your freedom. I stand silently in the background of your mind, waiting for you to remember that I am with you.

 

When you turn from your problems to My Presence, your load is immediately lighter.  Circumstances may not have changed, but we carry your burdens together.  Your compulsion to "fix" everything gives way to deep, satisfying connection with Me.  Together we can handle whatever this day brings.

This week has been a tough week for me to say the least.  It is easy to get discouraged over the little things and that is just what I have allowed to happen.  So I am taking a step back and removing myself from certain situations in order to allow the Holy Spirit to fill me while I learn to let go.  I have let my mind leap from problem to problem which tangled my thoughts in anxious knots.

I like to control certain situations because that is my personality.  I like to fix it!  Through our journey of infertility and adoption I have had absolutely no control over anything.  At first it drove me crazy, but then I learned to let go and trust God.  I am only human and I still fall (sometimes more than I like to admit).  But I am thankful He is always patiently waiting on me with open arms.  I know He is the one who guides me through each day. 

It is amazing to look back over the years and see how God was molding me and I didn't even know it.  Sometimes I think He looks down at me and simply says "My child, I have got this under control."  This week has reminded me how quick my focus can change.  I took my focus off of the One and Only.  My Jesus!  I allowed my mind to wonder to things that are not important and things that I can not change.  I am thankful to know that He is always with me, silently waiting for me to turn my focus back to Him.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  Isaiah 41:10

The circumstances have not changed, but my weight has been lifted.  So I will lay down my fleshly body once again and travel forward with my Jesus!  Together we can handle everything!

Where is your focus today?  Do you need to let go of something that is hindering your focus?  I encourage you to return to Jesus.  He is patiently waiting.

A Birthmother's Story...

This past Mother's Day I didn't only think about my mother, mother-in-law and grandmothers in my life, but I also had the wonderful thought of our birthmother!  This is someone whom we respect, love, and will always cherish.  Even though we have not met her and may never meet her, we will never forget the one who gave our baby LIFE!  We will never be able to pray for her enough, love her enough, or thank her enough for her sacrifice.  She will expreience loss and pain, as we experience overwhelming love and joy! We constantly pray that she will have peace and comfort during her time of loss.

This is a Birthmother's Story... 

 

If you can not view this please follow this link to watch the video here

 

This tells a beautiful story.  What an AMAZING God we serve! He knows the BIG picture when we can't even imagine the next step in our lives.  

Some of her points I would like to highlight again include:

 

On the TRUTH about Adoption:

"The biggest fallacy about adoption is that birthparents don't want their children."

 

About LOSS:

"My loss has been more than compensated for...the sweetness always swallows up the bitter."

 

On Birthparents and Adoptive Parents:

"We both sacrificed and we both put something on the alter and we answered each other's prayers."

 

We both (birthparents and adoptive parents) have to be receptive to God's call in order for God to be in control.  Have you let go and let God take over your life?  Have you given him everything?  Have you fully surrendered to God?  How will your story end?

 

We are very excited to continue to see our story unfold through God's will.

 

Praying for Our Happily Ever After...

 

Girls Night Out

Two weekends ago we had Girls Night Out.  Yes, I know it has been a while since I posted, but I have been SO busy!  Anyway I am posting now.  The girls night originally started out with two girls and has grown to this...


me, Kelly, Katie, Briana, Brandi W., Brandi B., Bethany, Sherry

And we are still growing!

We have LOTS of FUN together!  Some of these women are stay at home mommy's and enjoy this time for adult conversation.  Others just enjoy the time to laugh and relieve some of the stress from daily life.  Either way, we all enjoy the support that this group shows to one another.  We try to get together at least once a month.  It use to be a spur of the moment kind of get together, but since we have grown in size everyone plans for this ONE night.  We always eat and go to whatever movie we have all agreed on as the best and cleanest movie out in that particular month (that can be challenging, especially during the present time).  This month the movie pick was The Great Gatsby.  Did I mention we have an English teacher in the group.  Ha!  She was dying to see this movie because of the book.  Only a few of us had even read the book and I think she is the only one that wanted to read it again before watching the movie.  Ha! 

This particular night we decided to stay in Corinth and eat at The Chop House.  Let me just say, YUMMY!  I recommend this restaurant to anyone, great food!  After eating our delicious meal our night got a little interesting to say the least.  Ha!  Our church is participating in the Relay for Life this year and one of our fundraisers included the famous Flamingo Flocking.  I like to think that my Girl Scout Troop started this cute fundraiser way back in the day.  I don't know if we really started it or not, but it was a long time ago when we use to flock yards in New Albany and I don't remember anyone else flocking yards.  But now you see several yards that are currently being flocked in different areas for a fundraiser.  So for my blog I will say that my Girl Scout Troop and Debbie White (our troop leader) started this madness several years ago, before I could even drive.  Ha!

Here is one of our incriminating photos for the night...

Kelly, Brandi W., Brandi B., Bethany, and me
Photographers: Sherry and Briana

I won't go into details about what happened exactly, but I will say things got a little crazy! 

After our yard flocking we rushed over to the movie theater 40 minutes before the movie actually started!  One of us likes to be really early or we have some anxiety issues from being on time or late for the previews.  I will not name any names, but she knows who she is.  Ha!  We all love her very much and some like to tease her about having to be early for everything.  I love all of the different personalities in our group.  That is what keeps things interesting.

All in all we had a wonderful Girls Night Out and I am looking forward to next month!         

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother

I was sitting here reflecting on our past and remembering how hard it was for me to attend baby showers, to even look at a pregnant women, to hold someone else's newborn baby, and to hear the news "I am pregnant" by friends and family!  But I also think about some of those events that stole my joy!  It sucked the life out of me and left me angry many times.  I knew that it wasn't our time to become parents and I knew deep down that God had something better for our little family.  But that didn't take away the pain that was felt and the tears that were shed.  I was happy for them, but I was hurt for me.

I now know that His plan has been and will be more than I could ever imagine.  I was led through the journey of infertility for a reason.  I am being led through the journey of adoption for a reason.  And I have, and I am currently embracing the experience more and more every day.  God wants us to live full and abundant lives.  John 10:10 says, "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."  God has given me so much more than I could ever deserve or earn.  God has a plan for my life and I want to live it abundantly!  I  have learned to have joy in the darkness and in the light.  Why not?!  His plans are far better than I could ever plan or imagine.

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us." Ephesians 3:20

I found a poem that I love and would like to share with you.  I want to explain that I believe our infertility experience will make me a better mother than I would have been otherwise.  I am not saying that I will be a better mother than any of you.  I believe that God gives us all a different experience and He will always use it for His glory.  I believe that if it was given to me without effort I would have over looked important things in life that can never be replaced.  I plan to use my time that God has given me wisely.  I want to raise our child so that it is pleasing to God.  So please don't get mad at this post!!  I hope you will all understand where I am coming from.

Thoughts on Becoming a Mother
 

There are women who become mothers without effort,
 

without thought,
 

without patience or loss,
 

and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.
 

I will be better not because of genetics or money or because I have read more books,
 

but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
 

I have longed and waited.
 

I have cried and prayed.
 

I have endured and planned over and over again.
 

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
 

I will notice everything about my child.
 

I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore, and discover.
 

I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
 

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him/her and that I am not waking to cry tears of a broken dream.
 

My dream will be crying for me.
 

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child.
 

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
 

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
 

I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.
 

I know disillusionment, as I have been betrayed by my own body.  I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall!
 

I have prevailed.
 

I have succeeded.
 

I have won.
 

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
 

I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.
 

I listen.
 

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
 

I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth when life is beyond hard.
 

I have learned a compassion that only comes by walking in those shoes.  I have learned to appreciate life.
 

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.
 

-Author Unknown
 

While I wait patiently to become a mother, I will embrace this journey with an open heart and an open mind for whatever God has in store for our little family.  I am thankful that God chose this journey for us.  I am thankful for the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between.  I am confident in knowing that His plan is greater than my plans.
 

Praying for Our Happily Ever After... 

Baby Shook's Room in Progress

We don’t know when we might get “The Call” to go pick up our sweet baby…or to meet his or her birthparent(s).  We are very excited for that call to come! But we want to be ready as much as possible.  One way we decided to make sure we were ready is by preparing sweet Baby Shook’s room.  After all we are “EXPECTING”.  Baby Shook’s room is not complete, but it will be soon.  We are still in search of a rug for the room…so I am open to any suggestions. 

I found the bedding on pinterest…I love pinterest!  A friend of the family, which is more like family, handmade the bedding and added a cute touch to the curtains to match!  I absolutely love it!  Thank you Barbara!  She is going to make a few pillows to match and a few finishing touches on the bumper pad, but I still had to share.  I hope you like it as much as we do…    

 

 

We are all so very anxious for “The Call”, but we know that it is in God’s timing.  Until then, we pray for patience during our wait.

Praying for Our Happily Ever After…

Approved!

It has been a whirlwind of emotions this past week.  Tuesday April 9, 1997 was the day that my daddy past away.  It has been 16 years since that tragic accident.  Some days it feels like only yesterday and other days it feels like forever.  I miss him so much, but I am happy to know that one day we will be reunited in heaven.  I am so thankful for that assurance.

It is amazing how God will give me little things to get through that day each year.  This year He knew exactly what He was doing!  God has perfect timing, even when we don’t think so.  I am thankful God is always on time!  

Tuesday April 9, 2013 was the day that our home study was approved by Bethany Christian Services and the day I got my braces off.  Yes, we are officially approved for adoption.  Michael and I are in the waiting phase of our adoption process.  This wait could be short (a few months) or long (a few years), but either way we are closer than we were when we first started our journey.  We hope that you will continue to pray for us during this journey.  Please remember to pray for our patience as we wait, pray for our baby’s health, and pray for the beautiful person carrying our sweet baby as she travels this difficult journey.

Michael and I plan to use our time wisely while we anxiously wait for Baby Shook.  We plan to take lots of time for each other and just enjoy being together.  We want to treasure each moment that God gives us on this journey of waiting.  Although we are anxious to meet that sweet baby and hold him or her, we do not want to rush His timing.

“He hath made every thing beautiful in his time...” Ecclesiastes 3:11    

Colorado Vacation 2013

Day 4 we enjoyed a guided snow mobile tour up the mountain to the Great Divide.  It was SO FUN!!  This was my kind of playing in the snow.  We decided to just rent one snow mobile due to cost. :)  Michael drove and I was his passenger.  We started up the mountain and our guide was excited because we were headed into a snow storm.  WHAT?!  Yep, we got almost to the top and had to turn around and go back down because he was worried that some of us may get lost on the way down due to visibility.  It was snowing so hard we could hardly see our guide which was only 3 snow mobiles in front of us.  It was like fluffy, cold, white, cotton falling.  I kept sweeping it off of us to keep us as warm as possible, but it didn’t take long and we were covered again. 

I don’t have many pictures of this either because my hands were so cold I felt like my fingers were going to fall off!  HA!  When we got to the top of the mountain (or at least as high as we were allowed to go) I took my gloves off to get a few pictures.  Our handle bars were heated, but it just wasn’t enough to beat the snow.  It was COLD! 

There was mountians behind us but it was snowing so hard you couldn't see them. 

Our guide led us to a field and allowed us to all play on the snow mobiles.  When you get a bunch of men together on motorized toys, it can get a little CRAZY!  HA!  But everyone was careful not to wreck the machines because nobody wanted to pay for any damages.  We had LOTS of FUN!! 

Michael driving the snow mobile

Me posing for a picture...

When we got back we went to the Pizza Peddler for some lunch.  They were very busy…so we got it to go.  This was the best pizza ever!  If you ever go to Winter Park, Colorado I suggest you at least try the pizza from Pizza Peddler.

After lunch I decided to sit in the room, watch all the Mardi Gras celebration from the balcony and stay warm.  Michael went to ski for the afternoon before the slopes closed.  We both enjoyed our night together when the slopes closed at 4 pm.  We enjoyed our last night in the mountains by taking a stroll around the town in the snow.

 

We went back to the room and started packing up things that we didn’t need for the next morning because check out was at 10:00 am.  Our bus didn’t leave until 2:00 pm.  We had plenty of time to waste. 

Sunday February 10, 2013 was our last day in Winter Park.  We found a cute little restaurant in Winter Park called Goody’s.  Yummy to my tummy!  It was so good.  They had pancakes, waffles, eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls, and every crepe you could think of.  It was a family atmosphere restaurant that we enjoyed for several hours.  The restaurant had several games sitting around.  Michael and I started playing games for fun and to pass the time.

 

When it was time, we loaded up on the bus for our 2 hours and 30 minute ride down the mountain into Denver, Colorado.  I think the bus ride down was the worst thing about the trip.  It was long and boring.  We were also just ready to be home.  There is no place like HOME!  We boarded our flight for Nashville, TN and left the beautiful country side behind us. 

We had a great time in the mountains!